How Much Weight Should Mommy Gain?

Gaining Weight is very important during a pregnancy. Though you may be eating a lot more food, you want to make sure that it is still fairly healthy. Sweets wont hurt in moderation, but if you realize that what you eat is building your baby then you may be a little more careful. During the pregnancy you don't want to gain too much weight because this can lead to gestational diabetes. Also, you want to make sure you gain weight because low weight gain can lead to a low birth weight (babys weight). Kind of a tricky situation but if you eat fairly healthy and get moderate excersise then you should be just fine.

So how much weight should mommy be gaining? A healthy mom should gain 25 to 35 pounds during the entire pregnancy. Now most of this is not fat, actually only about 8-9 lbs of it is fat, protein and other nutrients according to BabyCentre.com. Your baby at birth will weight about 7 lbs, the placenta weighs about 1.5 lbs, And fluid (blood, Amniotic,) accounts for almost 4 lbs itself.

So mommy needs to be reassured that she is NOT getting fat because really shes not. Obviously if she is overweight then she will need to gain less weight and the oposite if she is underweight. She should be gaining 1-4 lbs in the first trimester, 1-2 lbs per week in the second and 1 lbs per week after that. This should lead to a healthy weight for mommy and baby.

Breastfeeding

I guess always figured that my wife would breastfeed our baby. To tell you the truth, there are a lot of rules that go into it. She can't breastfeed after having a few drinks the night before. She has to make sure to pump at regular times every day to keep comfortable, and if you plan on keeping a supply on hand in the fridge or freezer, then that is a whole other ball game. The biggest part of it is how much money you save by not having to buy formula weekly. It's like his/ her own little protein shake. It is important to my wife to breastfeed Ryker if possible. Some mothers are too sick, or the baby just refuses it, but that is not terribly often.

If you are concerned with you wanting to feed the baby also then you can actually get storage conatiners and keep some in the fridge. You will need to find out how to rotate new and old so that it stays fresh and all of the other rules like expiration.

Another bonus to breastfeeding is that it helps mommy lose the pregnancy weight.  "The study, which looked at data for more than 25,000 women participating in the Danish National Birth Cohort, measured how long women breastfed and also how intensely. Each woman received a breastfeeding score. Results showed that women with higher breastfeeding scores were more likely to lose their pregnancy weight six months after giving birth." (Caroline Wilbert, Web MD). 

Breastfeeding offers a perfect balance of essential nutrients that is a lot harder to get from formulas. Also, your childs milk is always perfect temperature, readily available and is a lot easier for your baby to digest.

Gynecologest Appointment 24 Weeks

We had another appointment yesterday morning. My wife is at 24 weeks and is at the perfect size for this stage of pregnancy. We got to hear Rykers heart beat again, it is so nice to hear it. As soon as she put the wand to Kayla's stomach his heart beat was super loud. He must have been in just the right position but it sounded like a strong young man's :). Her tummy is measuring at 24" if I remember right. I'll have to verify with her.

Our doctor told us that we should look into the two hospitals we have here and decide where we want to have the baby at. One has a birthing room and the other you have the baby and then get wheeled to a birthing room (this one has a queen bed though so I would'nt have to sleep on a chair all night). She also told us that mommy needs to make sure she is eating plenty of protein. This is because right now he is creating the building blocks of his body right now and needs plenty of nutrients. Calcium is very important now too because his bones are starting to ossify ( turning into bone or boney tissue). This appointment went really good.

In 4 weeks we have another appointment for the rogam shot, and glucose test. After that we start having appointments every 2 weeks!!

I have to buy what?

When you find out that your going to be a dad a lot of things start going on. You have all these thoughts rushing around your brain about providing, expenses, security, etc... This is perfectly normal. I happen to have the answer to all of these problems.

1. Providing: As long as you understand that it is your sole duty to provide for your family then you will be just fine. Money will always come and go. It's what you do with it when it comes that makes the difference. Prior to baby being born you should be saving like a mad man. Save wherever possible. Put money in savings, save a coin jar, collect all those beer cans and recycle. It will add up and give you a little cushion.

2. Expenses: Cribs, diapers, clothes, and strollers are no doubt expensive. So shop around for a crib. Look on Craigslist, check the newspaper, ask around. We got an awesome crib w/ baby changeing station from a friend for $100. Start buying diapers once a week. This will slowly build you an "armageddon supply." (the picture on the right knows whats up!) This will keep the cost from being so staggering all at once. Build up to this over the course of the last couple months.

  Try to find a friend who just had a baby of the same gender to get baby clothes. They will grow out of those newborns in the first 3 weeks (roughly). Don't spend all of your money on a bunch of nike/under armor outfits unless there on sale. You are not expected to up front all of this money to buy these things. Have a friend or mom throw your wife a baby shower. throw yourself your own manly baby shower with plenty of pizza, beer and Sportscenter.

3. Security: This is a big one. You wan't to know that your wife and baby are safe. Especially when your not home. I am in a career field that is constantly on the road or deploying. For this reason my wife and I are moving on base in April. That way I am sure that they will be safe and have help nearby if needed. Whatever it takes for your family to be safe whether you are present or not is what you need to do.

Hope these 3 quick tips are helpful. This was pretty much my first major worries that bothered me from day 1. I am happy to say that they bother me no more.

Our First Sonogram

For all you first time daddys out there, a sonogram is a computerized picture of an internal organ. They actually use sound waves to create the image and not X-rays. Which is considered to be extremely safe for a baby. It's a pretty neat deal actually. The technition squirts a little gel on mommys tummy and then uses a transducer wand to emit the sound waves, thus creating a picture. The only inconvience in our experience was that my wife had to drink like 60 ounces of water before the appointment (to inflate her stomach) then let half of it out in the bathroom right before the test. Other than that it was very easy and smooth. It was wonderful seeing our baby boy up on the screen.

As soon as the tech put the wand to her stomach, Ryker made his gender well known (as you can probably see in the picture.) Luckily we wanted to know the gender or else he would have ruined the surprise for us in the first 5 minutes. "He's a very proud young man." The tech told us. I will just leave you with this... I wonder where he gets that from :).

So Do You Wan't a Boy or Girl?

So do you want to have a boy or a girl? This is probably the #1 question I was asked leading up to our first ultra sound. My answer... I would love to have a boy someday but as long as he/she is healthy then that is all I can ask for. Can you blame a man for wanting a boy? No way! It is in our DNA to not only reproduce but to have our name survive, to live on and ultimatly conquer... Okay maybe not that far. I think you get the idea.

Not to say that I was not super excited when I saw the "it's a boy" picture on the TV screen. The key to answering this question is to tread very lightly. It depends on the person asking the question. Are they your in-laws? Your friends? If it is your in-laws then you have some upstream navigating to do. Make sure they know you will be pleased with either outcome but it is okay to have a preference. This news will undoubtedly reach your wife/girlfriend. So don't dig a grave you arn't willing to lay in.

In the end it's all about having a boy healthy baby is it not? If you are truely disapointed in the outcome then shame on you! It is a blessing either way, unless you happen to live in China then you only get one shot. That is a different story.

Either sex has it's pros and cons. Both can be taught to play sports, play pranks on mom, and someday drink beer. Depending on your geographical location the latter would not be considered very "lady like." My end point is this, be happy either way. This is not like Walmart where you can make exchanges. If you are having a different gender then what you expected then find something you can have in common, whether it is fishing, cooking, sports, school, dolls, sewing you name it. But then again maybe you are a dad that really want's to have a girl, that is awesome and more power to you! I know that if we are so blessed as to have another child I would love to have a girl. I really dont think that it is a big deal either way for you to have your preferences, just do it tactfully.

Learn to be a crafty dad if you have too!

I will post our 1st ultrasound pictures later this week, so stay tuned!

What Kind of School Will my Child Attend?

As you get closer to your having your darling bundle of joy, you may want to think about an important question. What kind of schools will my child be attending? I know this is far off in the future, but if you start talking about it now you may decide that you arn't in the best school district (academically, safe, etc...) Where I am from we have 3 cities all linked together called the Tri-Cities, one of these cities does not have the kind of environment I would want my child growing up in (basically because of gangs and sketchy neighborhoods.)

Thinking about this early on will give you a few years to plan on moving to get your child near a school that would be better suited for them. I don't know about you, but I want to feel safe about my children walking home from school (distance permitting.) You're baby is going to be spending half of his/her day at this school, a good parent would make sure that it is a safe bet. Granite you can't see the future but you can still do everything possible to error on the side of saftey. If you do dedcide to move into a better school district this will give you plenty of time to find a place to live without being slammed for time.

Santa Claus

An important subject that you may have never thought of yet. Will you choose to tell your child that there is a Santa Claus or not. This is a topic that has a good argument for both sides. And I am the perfect person to cover it. I was brought up believeing in Santa untill I was about 5 or 6, my wife was never really told if there is a Santa or isn't and was free to decide on their own ( wich pretty much answers the question for them).

Growing up with Santa in my heart was one of the coolest things I could of believed when I was a little guy. All of the "Christmas spirit" in the air in December and the joy I would get just thinking a jolly fat man was going to be in my house dropping off presents and drinking the milk I left for him. I remember calling the hotline to find out where Santa's sleigh was last spotted, and getting so excited. I must say that I always sort of knew that the "mall Santa" was a phony he just seemed like a stand in for the real guy. When I found out the truth I never really thought of it as my parents lying to me. I think I  saw it coming when my friend broke the news to me one day.

My wife was free to make her own descisions and she had basically told me that she would have liked to believe in Santa but when ever they asked there was not really any definitive answer either way. I understand that they didn't want their kids to think that they have been lied to, wich is an awesome thought for a parent to have. I don't think of it as lying but more of introducing an idea. An Idea that may be true or may not be true but introducing it anyways. It's not like i'm going to send my 16 year old to school still thinking there is a Santa Claus.

If nothing else Santa Claus gives your little one a reason to be reminded to behave and get on his nice list. My wife and I will bring our kids up with the idea of Santa Claus. When the day comes that they get smart to the idea I won't lie to them and the idea of Santa will be no more. If you decide to tell your child that there is no Santa then he will probably end up being the one to ruin it for all the kids in his school who want to believe :). No pressure just stating some facts here!

What do you think?

Necessity is the Mother of Invention

I feel compelled to tell about this clever Mcgyver-ish take on maternity jeans. I have yet to ask where she got this idea from or if she is just that good. My wife ordered some maternity jeans of the internet and could not wait for them to get here. She took a simple elastic hair tie ( the circle ones) pinched one end, fed it through the button hole on her jeans, then wrapped it around the button. Ta da! easy maternity jeans. Just make sure your shirt covers the unzipped zipper :).

5 Things Mommy Needs

1. Mommy needs her sleep. If shes anything like my wife a 10 hour sleep hibernation just wont cut it. She sleeps from about 9:00pm- 8:30am. This is necessary for your well being as much as hers.

2. Mommy needs new clothes. Yes the time will come where she just can't fit into jeans that she once wore. Here is a great site to reccomend to her Maternity Jeans. This will show her you've been researching!

3. Mommy needs reassurance. She needs to know that you still look at her the same, even though she's gaining weight (usually only 5 lbs is actually fat). This will help in other areas as well ;-).

4. Mommy needs to know that you are going to be there no matter what problem arises. I don't care what game xbox releases. Mommy and baby are #1.

5. Mommy needs nutrients. She should already have been taking a prenatal vitamin. She needs healthy snacks that are easy to take on the go. Fruits (strawberrys, raspberries, apples, oranges, etc...), Crackers (wheat thins, saltines etc...), healthy home cooked meals, and less fast food. She needs to put on healthy weight. Make her lunch for her filled with healthy snacks, a "main course", a goodie or two, and a love note :).

These are 5 things that were at the forefront of my mind while writing this. She needs a lot more than this. But, these are a great place to start. A key thing is to listen to her. Then you will be able to tailer your actions to her specific needs. Though if you master these 5 things then im sure your life/ relationship will be headed down the right path.

The Infamous Leash Backpack

This is my controversial post for the week. I have seen countless parents at stores that have their children on a leash. There are many ways to approach this situation. Maybe the child is hard to control, tough to keep track of, your afraid of he/she being kidnapped etc... I would love to approach this with a pair of scissors, setting this poor child free from the monkey backpack leash that constrains them. Children need to be allowed to walk the stores knowing they need to stay close to mommy and daddy. Heck if they do get lost in Target they should have been taught to find an authority figure (employee) and have you paged (personal story there). This will not only teach them how to think for themselves also it will give them experience with emergency situations. If they are old enough to walk on their own in a store, then they're old enough to be shown what to do if they get seperated from mom or dad. It may just be a coincidence that a lot of these "bound children" that are being walked like a dog are being walked by an overweight parent. This is not to offend, merely an observation that leads me to think that in those situations they are just plain lazy.

The leash is a great invention. It allows us to keep control, keep close, and maintain dominence... With our pets, not our children. Kids these days are so protected that when they get that little taste of freedom they take it to the extreme. Spend the time to teach your kid to stay close, and not wonder, keep an eye on them, and if they happen to get lost hiding in the clothes rack then it will be a lesson well learned when they have to embarrass mommy on the page system in the store.

The First Gyno Appointment

Gynecologist... Get used to saying it fellas. You will be making monthly trips to this lovely doc for the first few months then bi-monthly trips, then weekly trips (depeneding on your situtation and the doctors prefrences of course). You need to learn to be comfortable not having any of the attention. This is all about your lovely mommy to be. She is the one that is pregnant, not you. Repeat this like a mantra in your head. It is easy to want to pipe up and give your 2 cents but please refrain. Use this time to soak everything in and learn as much as you can about what mommy has to look forward too. This way you can be ahead of the game when any situation arises. Usually they will weigh her, make her pee in a cup, and possibly take blood samples. (remember, this is from my experience. Every doctor can/probably will be different. This first appointment is usually too early to hear any heart beat of the babies. Don't worry if the doctor tries and is unsuccessful. Right now your baby is extremely tiny.

It is important to try and be at this appointment, the gyno will need important family health history and it's good to know yours and your wifes blood types. Off the top of my head I believe that if both parents are O- then there is a special shot mommy needs around 28 weeks to prevent any incapatability issues with the baby. Again, I am no doctor. Other than that these appointments don't take long and are really just to monitor mommy as the process evolves. It is important that you are there for her at this time, it will show that you are wanting to learn and be involved. So take a break from Call of Duty and get your butt to the Gynecologist. Maybe mommy will take you out for ice cream after!

Tip of the day: Be there for your wife/girlfriend/partner/whatever title fits. YOU'RE A TEAM!

Crafty Way to Announce Babies Gender

There are many ways to tell friends about the gender of the baby. In this day and age why not use the tools given to us? At first I was not sure if I was comfortable using facebook to mass inform my friends. I dont know, I felt it to be a little immature but after thinking about that many phone calls... Needless to say cooler heads prevailed. Kayla is a Pinterest addict, and found some awesome ways to display our new baby.

SPOILER ALERT! I havn't stated the gender of our baby yet but, this picture will give it away :)

This is how we decided to inform our friends about the good news. Be crafty! It's Fun!

Going through Changes

It took about a week or so for Kayla to start having morning sickness. She would just randomly vomit a few times a day. It was not like the text book puke sessions that you see in movies. It was more of just not being able to hold certain foods down. Overly greasy foods were usually what triggered it. This was also not limited to the morning either. This sickness subsided just a week or so later and she has been fairly well ever since. It was pretty nice I must say. It is important for you (the man) to be there for her during these times. Nobody likes throwing up. If shes anything like my wife then the door will be locked and I cannot get in until after she is done puking. That does not mean that you can't be waiting outside the door with a glass of water in hand. That shows that you are doing everything possible to comfort her.

During the first 2 months acne reared it's ugly head and started to spread over her back and shoulder blades. Nothing too extreme but all to reminecent of those teenage years. This will soon be under control but, it is important not to make ugly faces at them. Remember when people called you pizza face? Not too much fun huh! Some soothing lotion and maybe some acne cream will help get this under control. For info on what is safe during pregnancy check this out.

At this point she will be starving and wanting to eat everything under the sun, only to throw half of th emeal away or puke it back up. This is a frustrating time to go out to fancy restraunts. An important tip for this is to learn to cook home cooked meals. This will lessen the burden of feeling like shes wasting money throwing up her $20 plate of lasagnia. Also you can control the amount of grease, ingredients, and portion size to fit her needs.

Depending on the woman her sexual desire may decrease, increase or fluctuate. You may feel that you are riding some extreme roller coaster in the bed room but, I say ride that roller coaster my friend it is better than having no desire at all. Men are usually always primed to go anyways. I wont go into to much detail in this department out of respect for my beautiful wife and family reading this. This is where books like What to Expect When Expecting come in handy. If you are anything like me then you wont really be into reading a lot of books (does'nt mean mommy to be would'nt enjoy some light reading).

There will be a part II to this post because we still have half a pregnancy to go!!! A lot has changed from where this post is at to where we are at now... Believe me.

Next: Telling friends about the news

How do I tell my family she's pregnant?

This is a really sensitive area. personally I wanted to call my parents up that day, but that is just the relationship I have with them. I forgot to mention that I now live about 1700 miles away from my hometown. I joined the Air Force in fall of 2010 and got stationed in the midwest. The reason why we kept it our own little secret is because the first couple of weeks are very crucial. A lot of complications can arrise in the first trimester. Pregnancy is broken into 3 trimesters and each trimester is roughly 3 months long. 3x3=9 months. My wife and I didn't want to have to tell everyone if something went wrong. It is pretty traumatic to have a miscarriage and it would have been too hard to explain it to all of our friends and family. I know that we still arn't out of the woods but you have to tell them sometime. A misscarriage can happen at any stage but less likely in the later weeks. So we kept it on the downlow for almost a month. After her first doctors appointment we felt comfortable letting the cat out of the bag. I also feel it is important to get your feelings straight before you start getting input from every direction possible.

My parents happened to be visiting for Thanksgiving so we sat my parents down on the couch and gave my mom a gift bag. Inside my wife had wrapped a cute frame that had a not in it that said something like "this frame will be filled july 2012." It also had a picture of the pregnancy test (positive). My parents reaction was wonderful. They were both very happy to hear the news. My mom had a little moment of shock afterwards but everyone handles important news differently. After informing my parents we called Kayla's family and told them over the phone. Which was not the best way to do it but it's not like we could just fly home that day. Everyone was overjoyed to hear that we would be adding another person to the family.

One large piece of advice is to not be nervous about their reaction. Even if you don't happen to be married yet. Parents would much rather hear about it from you then after you try to hide it from them. The majority of the time your parents situation was far worse then your own. In the end they are your parents and will have unconditional love for you nomatter what. It is human nature. Also, don;t get upset if they don't react the way you hoped right away. Emotions cause people to do and say crazy things in stressful situtations. Understand that they may just need some time to deal with it in their own way.

Next: The wonderful changes she's going through

I'm Going To Be a Dad

This is an interesting time in the pregnancy spectrum. I believe this would be different for everyone, I entered this phase about 2 weeks after I found out. I remember going to work and just feeling like I was in a different dimension. My mind was everywhere and nowhere at the same time. After work I sat in my truck and really didn't know what I was going through at the moment. All I could think about is how could I provide for another person. Another mouth to feed, more clothes to buy, how will I afford it's college (at this point it is an it because up until a month ago we didn't know the gender). Multiply these thoughts by 50 and that is similar to what I was going through. It is important to note that this is too early to bring these thoughts up to your mommy to be. This is because all it brings about is fear, uncertainty, and doubt that you are wanting to go through with it. I am not going to get into the argument against/for abortion because this is not a blog about that. My views are my views alone. Your mommy to be wants to know that if she is willing to do this, that her man will be leading the way. Another month or so down the road would be more appropriate for bringing these feelings forward. At this time they will be more organized, the "heat of the moment" will have worn off and you will better understand your own feelings. After sitting in my truck collecting my thoughts I drove to the Babies R' Us and walked in. I didn't plan on buying anything frankly becuase I don't know anything about babies. I don't know what they eat, how they sleep, what they like or even what they do. I have no prior experience in this field. You could say I was totally lost. I really just walked around. Reading signs, looking at prices, looking at diapers, and about fell over when I saw how much those darn things cost. This has been the biggest hurdle for me to get over. The cost. But once you get over it your life is instantly better. It is good practice to check prices, and to cut corners in certain areas but when it boils down to it, you will never be financially stable enough to afford a baby. Let me put that in lamence terms. You Will Never Feel Financially Ready To Have A Baby.

After I left the store I felt at piece with the idea, and even fairly excited for the future. It was definantly a good moment for me. I got some time to get myself collected, and ready for everything mother nature would throw my way.

Next up: Telling the famly.

Us Thus Far

My name is Nick, I am 21 years old and my wife is 20. In November of 2011 I found my beautiful wife of 11 months crying in the bathroom. I was of course playing Battlefield 3 with my brother in law and couldn't imagine what the problem was. I paused the game and went to find out... What I discovered I could never have been prepared for. Kayla (wife) pointed to the bathroom counter that had a pregnancy test on it. I already knew at this point the amazing news to come. After confirming my assumtion I grabbed her in my arms and had two paths I could take. Path 1: ask "how could this happen", or "I don't know what we will ever do" or "how can we afford it." Path 2: tell her "no matter what everything will be okay," or "that's amazing news!" Obviously I am still alive so I had to have chose path 2. I told her something like " baby why are you crying this is amazing, I promise everything will be okay." and thus far everything has been wonderful. She is 23 weeks pregnant and is loving every minute of it. I am not going to lie it hasn't been easy, nor always glamorous but it has been a blessing every day. Don't think that you are out of the woods yet mister. This is the easy part.

Next up: The Shock Phase