Always Thinking

This blog has been wonderful. Over the last 5 months I have posted 32 posts, Recieved about 1500 views and most importantly learned so much. This is my first real attempt at creating a blog that hopefully someone would read. It has faired far better than I could have expected.

Within the next week or two I will be a new daddy. I am so excited. With this new curve on the road ahead I started thinking... So there I was, thinking hard about how I can transition this blog into a new daddy blog with the same concept as I started with. I thought about every avenue possible until, out of the blue I get asked by a fellow blogger to be one of five bloggers on a new website. I couldn't believe that someone would actually read my blog and enjoy it enough to offer me this opportunity. It is an honor to be writing for The Today Voice. Where five bloggers post one day a week for an entire year. With a different topic every week, you can be sure to read some interesting stuff.

With this change in my short blogging career, I have decided to transfer my blogging to wordpress. It just seems to fit my idea of a blog a little better than this one. As I don't have time to write for three blogs I am going to focus on two. The Today Voice, and a new daddy blog on wordpress. The Website is under construction and you can be sure that I will advertise the adress asap. This blog has been amazing and has taught me so much about myself in these short five months.

I hope that all who reads this blog will follow me to my next endeaver. Check out The Today Voice any time. I write for mondays and am among some pretty great writers. I can't really tell you what I have in store for my next personal blog, but you can bet that it will rock!

Nick

Home Stretch

We are officially at 37 weeks. These nine months have gone so fast. I presume time will never slow from here. May was a super busy month for us. We had lamaze clase, Kayla was still working full time, my parents came to visit, I have been taking online classes, and working a ton. All this with softball 5 nights a week makes for one busy schedule. Though I thought it would be impossible, June has topped it. The great thing about keeping busy is how fast time seems to melt away.

Being so close to finally meeting our baby seems like a dream. It still hasn't sunk in fully that in a few days to weeks we will have another person depending on us. I can't say I know what is in store for us but, I am ready. As ready as I will ever be.

We may not be financially ready for a child (is anybody ever financially "ready" for a baby?). Are we too young? According to I'm a link!! 75% of all mothers having a baby were between the ages of 20-34. I have so many friends from my hometown that always post on facebook

"I can't believe how many of my friends are either pregnant, married, or both."

Um... Hello? The majority of your friends are in their 20's. Thats what people in their 20's do. They get hitched and pop out a few pups.

I am happy that I can actually say that we are physically prepared. We have all our diapers, clothes, etc... The car seat is in the car, and our overnight bag is packed.

Bring it on!

Final Lamaze Class

Sadly since I had softball in Colorado I missed one of our lamaze classes. This class was a super special one. They showed one of those 9th grade health childbirthing videos from your parents era. This is one video I am glad I missed... Nobody wants to see that. Last Thursday was our final lamaze class. I cannot believe how fast 6 weeks went bye. It literally grew wings and flew.

We are now coming up on the home stretch of the pregnancy. Her feet are swelling, she's a lot more uncomfortable, and worst of all the weather is getting hotter. "I hope he comes early" is a sentence mentioned about every 30 minutes. We are now in the 36th week so anything after this week is considered "full term."

I might be the luckyest man in the world, or this is a cruel trick that can still take a turn for the worst. My wife has been truely amazing during this process. She rarely complains, is still working her job, still cleans, does laundry, cooks dinner, and rarely complains (needed to emphasize the latter). I have had it far to easy. I know that the baby will be a whole new can of worms. Judging by how she has been to this point, I know we can do it. I married the right woman.

We learned a lot about different medicines, pain coping techniques, and cleared up a lot of questions that we had floating around in our final lamaze class. I would recommend to everyone that a lamaze class is a must. I gained a multitude of knowlede in our classes. Also, my wife is now a lot more comfortable and a lot more prepared for labor.

 Preparation builds confidence.

Mini Hiatus

So I have been absent from my blog for the past week or so. I didn't mean for it to happen but, a lot has been going on in my life recently. I started my summer college classes, took a trip to Colorado to play in Band Aid Military softball tourney (we took 4th place of 23 teams), and have been tending to my pregnant wife (8 months). This little break was very much needed. It was an awesome break from work, school, and life in general. I am pleased to say that I am turning my attention back onto "She's Pregnant, I'm Learning." I am so pleased to see that I hit 1000 views as fast as I did. I hear the first few months are the hardest, so I am sticking with it for the long haul.

I am not exactly sure what this blog will look like after the baby is born. I may keep the central idea on pregnancy for new fathers, but I fear that I will bring a lot of my son into the posts. If anyone has any insight into what I should do please feel free to leave a comment.

Stages of Labor III: Transition Phase

The transition phase is where mommy will dialate from 7cm to 10 (the amount needed for delivery). This is a much shorter process than the last two stages (30 minutes to an hour). At this point her contractions will be 1-2 minutes apart and they will last for about 60-90 seconds a piece. The discomfort level raises during this phase. She will have increased rectal pressure, possible nausea, vomiting, feeling flushed, chilled or sweating. Also, her muscles may begin to cramp up. The best advice for this phase is to take it one contraction at a time. If she has not already squeezed the life out of your hand, remind her to focus each breath on each individual contraction. In this case it is good for mommy to anticipate the contraction so that she may relax as it comes. Tension= Pain. Each breath will be nudging the baby that much closer to her arms. That is the first place the baby will go (everything permitting of course). Our hospital reccomends giving mommy and baby skin time immediately following the birth. This will help strengthen that initial bond between the two.

It is important for you (partner) to use your positive reinforcement skills during the transition phase of labor. Your words should be uplifting, encouraging, strong and caring. This is not time to relate child birth to something you once saw on National Geographic. Words of encouragement from the one she loves could mean the difference in a wonderful experience or an upsetting one. Here is a website I found containing a list of encouraging words. Make good use of them.

Hopefully these labor posts are informative as well as thought provoking. I hope they possibly raise some questions that you can bring to your doctor for answers. Knowledge is power!

I hope everyone is having a fantastic Tuesday and don't forget to comment, like, share, digg, or pin.

Picture courtesy of http://www.lpch.org/diseaseHealthInfo/HealthLibrary/pregnant/labor.html

Stages of Labor II: Active Phase

A lot happens during the active phase of labor. The most noticable difference will be contractions happening every 3-4 minutes that last for about a minute. Again, these contractions will begin in your lower back and work their way around into your pelvis. Your cervix will now dialate from 3 centimeters to 8 over the span of about 4 hours. Wow! That is a lot of dialation.

Obviously mommy won't be the most comfortable person in the world. Here are some helpful techniques for coping with this discomfort.

1. When contractions become uncomfortable, try changing positions.
2. Try to get movement in sync with music and breathing. In other words use music to help relax your breathing and putting some small body movements along with smooth rythmatic breathing will help relax your body and mind.
3. You may use verbal affirmations to reinforce a determined well being. Use smooth, even breathing to say "I can have this baby. I am relaxed."

Much of the discomfort will begin in the active phase and for good reason. Your body is stretching and squeezing in order to prepare to squeeze your 9lb baby out... Okay hopefully your baby is not 9lb but i'm sure it does happen. Look at this! Baby Chun Chun was born at 15lbs. I would not envy that woman.

It is a fact that child birth is painful. There is no getting around that. There are tools however, that may help alleviate this pain and discomfort. Whether it is an epidural, breathing techniques, body positioning etc... Talk about these options you have with your partner and come up with a birthing plan unique to what you want during this wonderful time.

Stages of Labor I: Early Phase

If your are like my wife then you have to always be prepared. Whether you are planning dinner, or expecting a baby. It seems only natural for Kayla to have complete knowledge of labor before hand (she plans out our trips to walmart in such detail it is mind boggling). After being educated on labor I feel comfortable sharing some of the knowledge I retained. Knowledge is power!

Labor is divided into 3 stages, stage one has three phases. These phases are early, active, and trasition. Early labor is where the cervix begins to dialate. This phase usually lasts for about 8-10 hours and is when contractions will begin. These contractions will be anywhere from 20 minutes to 5 minutes apart and will last for about 30-45 seconds a piece. There are some things that mommy will want to start doing when these begin.

1. Start drinking only clear liquids (any liquid that you can see through). No! Vodka doesn't count, so put that Grey Goose away. Also, you may eat popsicles or jello.

2. Try to get as much rest as possible.

3. It may help to think of contractions not as bad and painful. But, necessary to squeeze your little one out. Think of it as a reoccurring bear hug, gently nudging your baby into this world.

4. At this point you will want to begin timing your contractions so you will better understand when you need to go to the hospital.

What will these contractions feel like? Well, they will more than likely start in your lower back and work themselves around your hips and down to your pelvis. If your contractions don't have a constant interval then it is likely it is false labor. When in doubt, check it out!

This will be a multiple post subject. I will continue this daily through the week.

First Lamaze Class

Kayla and I attended our first lamaze class last week. It was a neat experience I must say. Our instructor has been teaching these educational classes for over 30 years. I really reccomend you men to go. There was a few women there that were either alone or brought there sister. If you are planning on being an active participant in your childs life, does it not make sense to learn everything you can to help him/her enter this world? There were six other couples at the class, each with there own story. For this post I will describe how this first class went.

We started the class with an introductory about ourselves (name, age, gender of baby, etc...). After this we moved on to the meat of the class. Our teacher held a large circular sign up that said "pain" on it. Then she proceeded to add pizza shape sections onto the board as she described that each of these pieces (medication, breathing, comfort etc...) are your tools to reducing the amount of pain mommy will experience during birth. When she finished there was just one section about 1/8th of the original circle that now said pain. She described how much of a role the "supporter" (me) plays during the actual child birth. No matter what she stressed that it is important to do everything within our realm of control to ensure this expirence will be a pleasent one for both mommy and me.

Obviously some women want to have medication (epidural) and some may wish not too. Chosing against this will only increase the pain another 1/8th of the chart. Now this is a general chart that does nothing more than describe how these "tools" can help you during birth. I must say it was a very effective approach for me as a visual learner. Though she should have added a chart that demonstrated how much pain discomfort her damn uncomfortable chairs were causing me.

The rest of the class we talked about the basics of breathing, fears associated with child birth and basic warning signs of labor. Also, she described the differences of true labor vs. false labor, and how they can mimick one another.

Since I have more than likely bored you to death I will save the rest for my Wednesday post. I will highlight these differences and shed some light on the beginning stages of labor.

Getting Stoked For Baby

Last night a couple that we are friends with had their first baby. Needless to say, she is beautiful. Kayla and I went to visit them at the hospital and it was a great experience for me. I have never been around a newborn baby or the hospital environment after the baby was born. I told my wife, "It's a good thing you are already pregnant, because I'd probably want to have one now." After seeing the joy in their eyes I can only imagine how it will feel when our own baby is born.

My whole life there has always been those people who want to bring you down. "you're too young to get engaged."

"you're not even 21 yet, why would you get married. Everything changes when you turn 21."

Sound familiar? If it does then hopefully you stuck to your guns and either told them to worry about themselves, or simply express that your situation is different. I am far happier that my life has taken this path. I still go out with friends, drink too much, play golf, softball, fish and play xbox. I am sure that some things will take a back seat to my baby boy, but you know what? I hope it does. There is so much more to life than drinking away every weekend. Don't get me wrong, I like to "tie one on" as much as the next guy, but it doesn't have to be every night that you don't have to be up early.

If you are a soon to be dad, and know someone who is having a baby. I encourage you to visit them in the hospital if possible. It will help you get a feel of what is going to be happening after your little miracle is born. Also, it may get you hyped up for what is soon to become your life.

For the record, not a lot has changed since I turned 21. Other than I can now buy my own alcohol. I'd trade one hundred drunk nights for any one of the hundreds of memories I have already created with my family in a heartbeat.

What to Expect at 28 Weeks

Kayla and I just went in for her 28 week appointment. It was a fairly interesting one this time. 28 weeks is when our gyno does the glucose testing. Testing for glucose is used to screen for gestational diabetes. When we first arrived at the doctors they had Kayla drink this orange sugary cocktail. She said that it tasted like a mix of Tang, and orange soda. After she drank this mixture we then proceeded to see the doctor as normal. We listened to the heart beat again, and our gyno measured her belly baby bump.

Since Kayla and I are both O- blood type, she was supposed to recieve the rhogam shot. This shot is to protect your baby from HDN or hemolytic disease of the newborn. According to rhogam.com if your baby's Rh blood type enters the mothers blood stream, the mothers immune system sees the babies blood cells as foreign and produces antibodies against them. Getting a rhogam shot at 28 weeks is necessary to prevent this from happening. Studies have shown that the rhogam shot will not cause harm to the unborn baby. The only way to make certain of a babys blood type is an invasive percedure. It is best to just administer the shot to all Rh- women because it won't cause harm even if your baby is not also Rh- . This link is a great place for any questions you may have about the rhogam shot.

Since the blood type is fairly rare, and the rhogam shot expires, we had to wait until the doctors next order came in. Kayla got her shot about two days later and she said "it was a painless shot in the hip."

After an hour had passed (for the glucose test) Kayla had to get two small viles of blood drawn. This gets sent to a lab to test for glucose levels. If her glucose levels remained high after the hour, then she would have to recieve a plethora of tests and blood draws to confirm whether or not she has gestational diabetes. Also, this is a wonderful place to get more information on gestational diabetes. This is about it for what you should expect at 28 weeks.

Be ready for a longer appointment this time. From now on we meet with our gyno every other week!!

Do It Yourself Toy Bin

Do you find yourself constantly picking up your childs Army men, legos, or action figures? Does your daughters barbie accessories seem to find themselves in the washer or wedged under the bed? Well this simple do it yourself homemade toy box is sure to fix that problem.

Items needed: One Purina Tidy Cats 20 lb litter tub.

That's it!! That is all you need. Just pull off the labels, obviously wash it out and wha la! You have a perfect bin for storing those pesky legos that your vacuum always chokes on. Simply sharpie the title of whatever you happen to be storing somewhere on the outside. This is a great way to keep small toys out of your puppies mouth. Also, it can be a great way to safegaurd against a curious toddler that wants to gum everything.

A friend of mine told me about this awesome trick and needless to say we are saving the next few cat litter tubs.

Why I Married My Best Friend

Marraige is a tradition that has been around for ages. It is a vital part of our culture and many others. Though a lot has changed as the time passes, I like to remind my wife that "back in the day, fathers would give their daughters to marriage with tracks of land." Needless to say, I don't seen any land coming my way.

I feel that it's important to marry your best friend because you must be able to be more than a spouse to them. In our 1.5 years of being married I have worn several hats. I have my husband hat; this is for daily life (cleaning the house, working, descision making, finances and protecting). I have my parent hat when it comes to advice and understanding (we live almost 2000 miles from our parents).I recently have my dad hat, and my most important hat is my best friend hat. Notice all of my other hats are for working, protecting, keeping up the house, understanding and descision making. The best friend hat is designed for relieving the stress that comes with all of these other metaphorical hats. My wife wears about 3 times more hats than me btw. She's amazing.

Relieving stress is so essential to getting a marriage off the ground and im sure keeping it off the ground. When we get bogged down by the week and this stress inducing world, we need to be able to do what best friends do. Whether that is veg (pronounced Ve-j, taking on the role of a vegitable) on the couch all day watching Hulu Plus, go on a picnic, or collect pictures for The People of Walmart. If you can't have fun and let loose with the person you love then why would you ever marry them?

My wife is fun, smart, goofy, nerdy, caring and above all else the most amazing best friend ever. She is there for anything I could possibly need and allows me to still be me. I am 1000% happier being married to her than not.

Marriage is for life, so if your married and not living, I suggest you try it some time. Maybe your the one without the best friend hat.

Sympathetic Pregnancy

Are you gaining as much weight as your wife during her pregnancy? Are you experienceing morning sickness, nasea, or food cravings? If you answered yes to either of those questions, then you may be experiencing Couvade Syndrome. This is when the male has similar symptoms as the female during pregnancy. These symptoms can include, rapid weight gain, moodiness, cravings, morning sickness, vomiting, headaches, and diarrhea.

The best part about sympathetic pregnancies is that you never know if it will affect you or not. The symptoms can begin during the end of the first trimester but, there have been those who start feeling them right away. These symptoms can last until the third trimester or until mommy gives birth.

 I am not a doctor but, the human body does some weird things sometimes. Think about it, when bills arrive in the mail who stresses over paying them? When the car breaks down who does it effect? The answer is both of you! Stress can sometimes make us sick in ways that we could never imagine. Stress leads to ulcers and heart attacks. Why can't stress lead to sympathetic pregnancy. That may be a long shot because I don't think there is any predisposed marker to Couvade Syndrome, but it seems reasonable. The man of the house is suddenly responsible for feeding another mouth, this requires making more money which requires putting more hours in at work. You can see how it snowballs. I wouldn't be surprised if this could cause weight gain, headaches, maybe not morning sickness but like I said, I am not a doctor.

Grab some tums, and try not to complain more than your partner, who actually has a baby inside her!

What is your take on Sympathetic Pregnancy? Do you think it's real?

Should I read to baby in the womb?

There is little scientific evidence to support the idea that your baby can learn while he/she is in the womb. After 23 weeks of pregnancy their hearing has developed, whether it is music the television or conversation. Imagine that you were blind folded at a german rap concert. There are 4 key problems here.

1. You know nothing of their language.
2. You cannot see a thing.
3. Your rubix cube is keeping you very busy.

These problems are abstractly related to what your baby is going through. Baby has never experienced "our world," They know nothing of english nor can they relate our words to anything they have ever experienced. All they know is the womb. Also, their little bodies are growing like crazy. Their brains are so strapped with learning simple necessities and setting the framework for growth that it is probably not an ideal situation to be learining in.

How do you feel you would fair in the situtation presented above?

The reason I love to read to my baby in the womb is because I feel that he may be able to at least get the rythm. I have mainly been reading Dr. Suess books for this reason. In the situation presented above, you may not be able to pick up much of the words to the rap song, but you would definatly be able to understand the rythm and most likely recognize it if you heard it again. Obviously our brains are far more developed then that of an unborn baby.

Studies have shown that babies can recognize their mothers voice, this shows that the memory part of their brain has developed enough for simple memory of tones and pitch. By reading books that have a rythm, it is possible to assume that when they hear them again after birth they may recognize the rythm. This may not be accurate but am I really wasting anyones time? Nope. If anything I am causing the bond between me and my unborn son to only grow deeper, to show mommy that I will be the best dad I can be, and to broaden my own skills of being a dad.

Should I read to baby in the womb? Who knows he may just end up being a genious.

A Great Gift Idea for a Pregnant Mommy

My wife and I celebrated our 1 year anniversary on December 23rd 2011. For this I got her an awesome gift. One which she just redeemed today. This gift was a mommy massage. A massage just for pregnant women. Which is great because when it comes to massages there are some rules to follow. Certain techniques/ styles/ movements cannot be performed on pregnant women and it is important to let them know before hand that she is pregnant.

Pregnancy stresses the body to the max, they're off balance, sometimes cannot sleep right, her back may be sore etc... A massage is the perfect gift to give to just let her go and relax for an hour or so. Also it may score you some bonus bedroom points!! shhh I didn't say anything!  So check with the massage places in your area to see if they offer a mommy massage!

How Much Weight Should Mommy Gain?

Gaining Weight is very important during a pregnancy. Though you may be eating a lot more food, you want to make sure that it is still fairly healthy. Sweets wont hurt in moderation, but if you realize that what you eat is building your baby then you may be a little more careful. During the pregnancy you don't want to gain too much weight because this can lead to gestational diabetes. Also, you want to make sure you gain weight because low weight gain can lead to a low birth weight (babys weight). Kind of a tricky situation but if you eat fairly healthy and get moderate excersise then you should be just fine.

So how much weight should mommy be gaining? A healthy mom should gain 25 to 35 pounds during the entire pregnancy. Now most of this is not fat, actually only about 8-9 lbs of it is fat, protein and other nutrients according to BabyCentre.com. Your baby at birth will weight about 7 lbs, the placenta weighs about 1.5 lbs, And fluid (blood, Amniotic,) accounts for almost 4 lbs itself.

So mommy needs to be reassured that she is NOT getting fat because really shes not. Obviously if she is overweight then she will need to gain less weight and the oposite if she is underweight. She should be gaining 1-4 lbs in the first trimester, 1-2 lbs per week in the second and 1 lbs per week after that. This should lead to a healthy weight for mommy and baby.

Breastfeeding

I guess always figured that my wife would breastfeed our baby. To tell you the truth, there are a lot of rules that go into it. She can't breastfeed after having a few drinks the night before. She has to make sure to pump at regular times every day to keep comfortable, and if you plan on keeping a supply on hand in the fridge or freezer, then that is a whole other ball game. The biggest part of it is how much money you save by not having to buy formula weekly. It's like his/ her own little protein shake. It is important to my wife to breastfeed Ryker if possible. Some mothers are too sick, or the baby just refuses it, but that is not terribly often.

If you are concerned with you wanting to feed the baby also then you can actually get storage conatiners and keep some in the fridge. You will need to find out how to rotate new and old so that it stays fresh and all of the other rules like expiration.

Another bonus to breastfeeding is that it helps mommy lose the pregnancy weight.  "The study, which looked at data for more than 25,000 women participating in the Danish National Birth Cohort, measured how long women breastfed and also how intensely. Each woman received a breastfeeding score. Results showed that women with higher breastfeeding scores were more likely to lose their pregnancy weight six months after giving birth." (Caroline Wilbert, Web MD). 

Breastfeeding offers a perfect balance of essential nutrients that is a lot harder to get from formulas. Also, your childs milk is always perfect temperature, readily available and is a lot easier for your baby to digest.

Gynecologest Appointment 24 Weeks

We had another appointment yesterday morning. My wife is at 24 weeks and is at the perfect size for this stage of pregnancy. We got to hear Rykers heart beat again, it is so nice to hear it. As soon as she put the wand to Kayla's stomach his heart beat was super loud. He must have been in just the right position but it sounded like a strong young man's :). Her tummy is measuring at 24" if I remember right. I'll have to verify with her.

Our doctor told us that we should look into the two hospitals we have here and decide where we want to have the baby at. One has a birthing room and the other you have the baby and then get wheeled to a birthing room (this one has a queen bed though so I would'nt have to sleep on a chair all night). She also told us that mommy needs to make sure she is eating plenty of protein. This is because right now he is creating the building blocks of his body right now and needs plenty of nutrients. Calcium is very important now too because his bones are starting to ossify ( turning into bone or boney tissue). This appointment went really good.

In 4 weeks we have another appointment for the rogam shot, and glucose test. After that we start having appointments every 2 weeks!!

I have to buy what?

When you find out that your going to be a dad a lot of things start going on. You have all these thoughts rushing around your brain about providing, expenses, security, etc... This is perfectly normal. I happen to have the answer to all of these problems.

1. Providing: As long as you understand that it is your sole duty to provide for your family then you will be just fine. Money will always come and go. It's what you do with it when it comes that makes the difference. Prior to baby being born you should be saving like a mad man. Save wherever possible. Put money in savings, save a coin jar, collect all those beer cans and recycle. It will add up and give you a little cushion.

2. Expenses: Cribs, diapers, clothes, and strollers are no doubt expensive. So shop around for a crib. Look on Craigslist, check the newspaper, ask around. We got an awesome crib w/ baby changeing station from a friend for $100. Start buying diapers once a week. This will slowly build you an "armageddon supply." (the picture on the right knows whats up!) This will keep the cost from being so staggering all at once. Build up to this over the course of the last couple months.

  Try to find a friend who just had a baby of the same gender to get baby clothes. They will grow out of those newborns in the first 3 weeks (roughly). Don't spend all of your money on a bunch of nike/under armor outfits unless there on sale. You are not expected to up front all of this money to buy these things. Have a friend or mom throw your wife a baby shower. throw yourself your own manly baby shower with plenty of pizza, beer and Sportscenter.

3. Security: This is a big one. You wan't to know that your wife and baby are safe. Especially when your not home. I am in a career field that is constantly on the road or deploying. For this reason my wife and I are moving on base in April. That way I am sure that they will be safe and have help nearby if needed. Whatever it takes for your family to be safe whether you are present or not is what you need to do.

Hope these 3 quick tips are helpful. This was pretty much my first major worries that bothered me from day 1. I am happy to say that they bother me no more.

Our First Sonogram

For all you first time daddys out there, a sonogram is a computerized picture of an internal organ. They actually use sound waves to create the image and not X-rays. Which is considered to be extremely safe for a baby. It's a pretty neat deal actually. The technition squirts a little gel on mommys tummy and then uses a transducer wand to emit the sound waves, thus creating a picture. The only inconvience in our experience was that my wife had to drink like 60 ounces of water before the appointment (to inflate her stomach) then let half of it out in the bathroom right before the test. Other than that it was very easy and smooth. It was wonderful seeing our baby boy up on the screen.

As soon as the tech put the wand to her stomach, Ryker made his gender well known (as you can probably see in the picture.) Luckily we wanted to know the gender or else he would have ruined the surprise for us in the first 5 minutes. "He's a very proud young man." The tech told us. I will just leave you with this... I wonder where he gets that from :).

So Do You Wan't a Boy or Girl?

So do you want to have a boy or a girl? This is probably the #1 question I was asked leading up to our first ultra sound. My answer... I would love to have a boy someday but as long as he/she is healthy then that is all I can ask for. Can you blame a man for wanting a boy? No way! It is in our DNA to not only reproduce but to have our name survive, to live on and ultimatly conquer... Okay maybe not that far. I think you get the idea.

Not to say that I was not super excited when I saw the "it's a boy" picture on the TV screen. The key to answering this question is to tread very lightly. It depends on the person asking the question. Are they your in-laws? Your friends? If it is your in-laws then you have some upstream navigating to do. Make sure they know you will be pleased with either outcome but it is okay to have a preference. This news will undoubtedly reach your wife/girlfriend. So don't dig a grave you arn't willing to lay in.

In the end it's all about having a boy healthy baby is it not? If you are truely disapointed in the outcome then shame on you! It is a blessing either way, unless you happen to live in China then you only get one shot. That is a different story.

Either sex has it's pros and cons. Both can be taught to play sports, play pranks on mom, and someday drink beer. Depending on your geographical location the latter would not be considered very "lady like." My end point is this, be happy either way. This is not like Walmart where you can make exchanges. If you are having a different gender then what you expected then find something you can have in common, whether it is fishing, cooking, sports, school, dolls, sewing you name it. But then again maybe you are a dad that really want's to have a girl, that is awesome and more power to you! I know that if we are so blessed as to have another child I would love to have a girl. I really dont think that it is a big deal either way for you to have your preferences, just do it tactfully.

Learn to be a crafty dad if you have too!

I will post our 1st ultrasound pictures later this week, so stay tuned!

What Kind of School Will my Child Attend?

As you get closer to your having your darling bundle of joy, you may want to think about an important question. What kind of schools will my child be attending? I know this is far off in the future, but if you start talking about it now you may decide that you arn't in the best school district (academically, safe, etc...) Where I am from we have 3 cities all linked together called the Tri-Cities, one of these cities does not have the kind of environment I would want my child growing up in (basically because of gangs and sketchy neighborhoods.)

Thinking about this early on will give you a few years to plan on moving to get your child near a school that would be better suited for them. I don't know about you, but I want to feel safe about my children walking home from school (distance permitting.) You're baby is going to be spending half of his/her day at this school, a good parent would make sure that it is a safe bet. Granite you can't see the future but you can still do everything possible to error on the side of saftey. If you do dedcide to move into a better school district this will give you plenty of time to find a place to live without being slammed for time.

Santa Claus

An important subject that you may have never thought of yet. Will you choose to tell your child that there is a Santa Claus or not. This is a topic that has a good argument for both sides. And I am the perfect person to cover it. I was brought up believeing in Santa untill I was about 5 or 6, my wife was never really told if there is a Santa or isn't and was free to decide on their own ( wich pretty much answers the question for them).

Growing up with Santa in my heart was one of the coolest things I could of believed when I was a little guy. All of the "Christmas spirit" in the air in December and the joy I would get just thinking a jolly fat man was going to be in my house dropping off presents and drinking the milk I left for him. I remember calling the hotline to find out where Santa's sleigh was last spotted, and getting so excited. I must say that I always sort of knew that the "mall Santa" was a phony he just seemed like a stand in for the real guy. When I found out the truth I never really thought of it as my parents lying to me. I think I  saw it coming when my friend broke the news to me one day.

My wife was free to make her own descisions and she had basically told me that she would have liked to believe in Santa but when ever they asked there was not really any definitive answer either way. I understand that they didn't want their kids to think that they have been lied to, wich is an awesome thought for a parent to have. I don't think of it as lying but more of introducing an idea. An Idea that may be true or may not be true but introducing it anyways. It's not like i'm going to send my 16 year old to school still thinking there is a Santa Claus.

If nothing else Santa Claus gives your little one a reason to be reminded to behave and get on his nice list. My wife and I will bring our kids up with the idea of Santa Claus. When the day comes that they get smart to the idea I won't lie to them and the idea of Santa will be no more. If you decide to tell your child that there is no Santa then he will probably end up being the one to ruin it for all the kids in his school who want to believe :). No pressure just stating some facts here!

What do you think?

Necessity is the Mother of Invention

I feel compelled to tell about this clever Mcgyver-ish take on maternity jeans. I have yet to ask where she got this idea from or if she is just that good. My wife ordered some maternity jeans of the internet and could not wait for them to get here. She took a simple elastic hair tie ( the circle ones) pinched one end, fed it through the button hole on her jeans, then wrapped it around the button. Ta da! easy maternity jeans. Just make sure your shirt covers the unzipped zipper :).

5 Things Mommy Needs

1. Mommy needs her sleep. If shes anything like my wife a 10 hour sleep hibernation just wont cut it. She sleeps from about 9:00pm- 8:30am. This is necessary for your well being as much as hers.

2. Mommy needs new clothes. Yes the time will come where she just can't fit into jeans that she once wore. Here is a great site to reccomend to her Maternity Jeans. This will show her you've been researching!

3. Mommy needs reassurance. She needs to know that you still look at her the same, even though she's gaining weight (usually only 5 lbs is actually fat). This will help in other areas as well ;-).

4. Mommy needs to know that you are going to be there no matter what problem arises. I don't care what game xbox releases. Mommy and baby are #1.

5. Mommy needs nutrients. She should already have been taking a prenatal vitamin. She needs healthy snacks that are easy to take on the go. Fruits (strawberrys, raspberries, apples, oranges, etc...), Crackers (wheat thins, saltines etc...), healthy home cooked meals, and less fast food. She needs to put on healthy weight. Make her lunch for her filled with healthy snacks, a "main course", a goodie or two, and a love note :).

These are 5 things that were at the forefront of my mind while writing this. She needs a lot more than this. But, these are a great place to start. A key thing is to listen to her. Then you will be able to tailer your actions to her specific needs. Though if you master these 5 things then im sure your life/ relationship will be headed down the right path.

The Infamous Leash Backpack

This is my controversial post for the week. I have seen countless parents at stores that have their children on a leash. There are many ways to approach this situation. Maybe the child is hard to control, tough to keep track of, your afraid of he/she being kidnapped etc... I would love to approach this with a pair of scissors, setting this poor child free from the monkey backpack leash that constrains them. Children need to be allowed to walk the stores knowing they need to stay close to mommy and daddy. Heck if they do get lost in Target they should have been taught to find an authority figure (employee) and have you paged (personal story there). This will not only teach them how to think for themselves also it will give them experience with emergency situations. If they are old enough to walk on their own in a store, then they're old enough to be shown what to do if they get seperated from mom or dad. It may just be a coincidence that a lot of these "bound children" that are being walked like a dog are being walked by an overweight parent. This is not to offend, merely an observation that leads me to think that in those situations they are just plain lazy.

The leash is a great invention. It allows us to keep control, keep close, and maintain dominence... With our pets, not our children. Kids these days are so protected that when they get that little taste of freedom they take it to the extreme. Spend the time to teach your kid to stay close, and not wonder, keep an eye on them, and if they happen to get lost hiding in the clothes rack then it will be a lesson well learned when they have to embarrass mommy on the page system in the store.

The First Gyno Appointment

Gynecologist... Get used to saying it fellas. You will be making monthly trips to this lovely doc for the first few months then bi-monthly trips, then weekly trips (depeneding on your situtation and the doctors prefrences of course). You need to learn to be comfortable not having any of the attention. This is all about your lovely mommy to be. She is the one that is pregnant, not you. Repeat this like a mantra in your head. It is easy to want to pipe up and give your 2 cents but please refrain. Use this time to soak everything in and learn as much as you can about what mommy has to look forward too. This way you can be ahead of the game when any situation arises. Usually they will weigh her, make her pee in a cup, and possibly take blood samples. (remember, this is from my experience. Every doctor can/probably will be different. This first appointment is usually too early to hear any heart beat of the babies. Don't worry if the doctor tries and is unsuccessful. Right now your baby is extremely tiny.

It is important to try and be at this appointment, the gyno will need important family health history and it's good to know yours and your wifes blood types. Off the top of my head I believe that if both parents are O- then there is a special shot mommy needs around 28 weeks to prevent any incapatability issues with the baby. Again, I am no doctor. Other than that these appointments don't take long and are really just to monitor mommy as the process evolves. It is important that you are there for her at this time, it will show that you are wanting to learn and be involved. So take a break from Call of Duty and get your butt to the Gynecologist. Maybe mommy will take you out for ice cream after!

Tip of the day: Be there for your wife/girlfriend/partner/whatever title fits. YOU'RE A TEAM!

Crafty Way to Announce Babies Gender

There are many ways to tell friends about the gender of the baby. In this day and age why not use the tools given to us? At first I was not sure if I was comfortable using facebook to mass inform my friends. I dont know, I felt it to be a little immature but after thinking about that many phone calls... Needless to say cooler heads prevailed. Kayla is a Pinterest addict, and found some awesome ways to display our new baby.

SPOILER ALERT! I havn't stated the gender of our baby yet but, this picture will give it away :)

This is how we decided to inform our friends about the good news. Be crafty! It's Fun!

Going through Changes

It took about a week or so for Kayla to start having morning sickness. She would just randomly vomit a few times a day. It was not like the text book puke sessions that you see in movies. It was more of just not being able to hold certain foods down. Overly greasy foods were usually what triggered it. This was also not limited to the morning either. This sickness subsided just a week or so later and she has been fairly well ever since. It was pretty nice I must say. It is important for you (the man) to be there for her during these times. Nobody likes throwing up. If shes anything like my wife then the door will be locked and I cannot get in until after she is done puking. That does not mean that you can't be waiting outside the door with a glass of water in hand. That shows that you are doing everything possible to comfort her.

During the first 2 months acne reared it's ugly head and started to spread over her back and shoulder blades. Nothing too extreme but all to reminecent of those teenage years. This will soon be under control but, it is important not to make ugly faces at them. Remember when people called you pizza face? Not too much fun huh! Some soothing lotion and maybe some acne cream will help get this under control. For info on what is safe during pregnancy check this out.

At this point she will be starving and wanting to eat everything under the sun, only to throw half of th emeal away or puke it back up. This is a frustrating time to go out to fancy restraunts. An important tip for this is to learn to cook home cooked meals. This will lessen the burden of feeling like shes wasting money throwing up her $20 plate of lasagnia. Also you can control the amount of grease, ingredients, and portion size to fit her needs.

Depending on the woman her sexual desire may decrease, increase or fluctuate. You may feel that you are riding some extreme roller coaster in the bed room but, I say ride that roller coaster my friend it is better than having no desire at all. Men are usually always primed to go anyways. I wont go into to much detail in this department out of respect for my beautiful wife and family reading this. This is where books like What to Expect When Expecting come in handy. If you are anything like me then you wont really be into reading a lot of books (does'nt mean mommy to be would'nt enjoy some light reading).

There will be a part II to this post because we still have half a pregnancy to go!!! A lot has changed from where this post is at to where we are at now... Believe me.

Next: Telling friends about the news

How do I tell my family she's pregnant?

This is a really sensitive area. personally I wanted to call my parents up that day, but that is just the relationship I have with them. I forgot to mention that I now live about 1700 miles away from my hometown. I joined the Air Force in fall of 2010 and got stationed in the midwest. The reason why we kept it our own little secret is because the first couple of weeks are very crucial. A lot of complications can arrise in the first trimester. Pregnancy is broken into 3 trimesters and each trimester is roughly 3 months long. 3x3=9 months. My wife and I didn't want to have to tell everyone if something went wrong. It is pretty traumatic to have a miscarriage and it would have been too hard to explain it to all of our friends and family. I know that we still arn't out of the woods but you have to tell them sometime. A misscarriage can happen at any stage but less likely in the later weeks. So we kept it on the downlow for almost a month. After her first doctors appointment we felt comfortable letting the cat out of the bag. I also feel it is important to get your feelings straight before you start getting input from every direction possible.

My parents happened to be visiting for Thanksgiving so we sat my parents down on the couch and gave my mom a gift bag. Inside my wife had wrapped a cute frame that had a not in it that said something like "this frame will be filled july 2012." It also had a picture of the pregnancy test (positive). My parents reaction was wonderful. They were both very happy to hear the news. My mom had a little moment of shock afterwards but everyone handles important news differently. After informing my parents we called Kayla's family and told them over the phone. Which was not the best way to do it but it's not like we could just fly home that day. Everyone was overjoyed to hear that we would be adding another person to the family.

One large piece of advice is to not be nervous about their reaction. Even if you don't happen to be married yet. Parents would much rather hear about it from you then after you try to hide it from them. The majority of the time your parents situation was far worse then your own. In the end they are your parents and will have unconditional love for you nomatter what. It is human nature. Also, don;t get upset if they don't react the way you hoped right away. Emotions cause people to do and say crazy things in stressful situtations. Understand that they may just need some time to deal with it in their own way.

Next: The wonderful changes she's going through

I'm Going To Be a Dad

This is an interesting time in the pregnancy spectrum. I believe this would be different for everyone, I entered this phase about 2 weeks after I found out. I remember going to work and just feeling like I was in a different dimension. My mind was everywhere and nowhere at the same time. After work I sat in my truck and really didn't know what I was going through at the moment. All I could think about is how could I provide for another person. Another mouth to feed, more clothes to buy, how will I afford it's college (at this point it is an it because up until a month ago we didn't know the gender). Multiply these thoughts by 50 and that is similar to what I was going through. It is important to note that this is too early to bring these thoughts up to your mommy to be. This is because all it brings about is fear, uncertainty, and doubt that you are wanting to go through with it. I am not going to get into the argument against/for abortion because this is not a blog about that. My views are my views alone. Your mommy to be wants to know that if she is willing to do this, that her man will be leading the way. Another month or so down the road would be more appropriate for bringing these feelings forward. At this time they will be more organized, the "heat of the moment" will have worn off and you will better understand your own feelings. After sitting in my truck collecting my thoughts I drove to the Babies R' Us and walked in. I didn't plan on buying anything frankly becuase I don't know anything about babies. I don't know what they eat, how they sleep, what they like or even what they do. I have no prior experience in this field. You could say I was totally lost. I really just walked around. Reading signs, looking at prices, looking at diapers, and about fell over when I saw how much those darn things cost. This has been the biggest hurdle for me to get over. The cost. But once you get over it your life is instantly better. It is good practice to check prices, and to cut corners in certain areas but when it boils down to it, you will never be financially stable enough to afford a baby. Let me put that in lamence terms. You Will Never Feel Financially Ready To Have A Baby.

After I left the store I felt at piece with the idea, and even fairly excited for the future. It was definantly a good moment for me. I got some time to get myself collected, and ready for everything mother nature would throw my way.

Next up: Telling the famly.

Us Thus Far

My name is Nick, I am 21 years old and my wife is 20. In November of 2011 I found my beautiful wife of 11 months crying in the bathroom. I was of course playing Battlefield 3 with my brother in law and couldn't imagine what the problem was. I paused the game and went to find out... What I discovered I could never have been prepared for. Kayla (wife) pointed to the bathroom counter that had a pregnancy test on it. I already knew at this point the amazing news to come. After confirming my assumtion I grabbed her in my arms and had two paths I could take. Path 1: ask "how could this happen", or "I don't know what we will ever do" or "how can we afford it." Path 2: tell her "no matter what everything will be okay," or "that's amazing news!" Obviously I am still alive so I had to have chose path 2. I told her something like " baby why are you crying this is amazing, I promise everything will be okay." and thus far everything has been wonderful. She is 23 weeks pregnant and is loving every minute of it. I am not going to lie it hasn't been easy, nor always glamorous but it has been a blessing every day. Don't think that you are out of the woods yet mister. This is the easy part.

Next up: The Shock Phase